FINALLY!!!! Gald you are back!
Now, you can start this final post by going back and looking at the prior First Five posts, I know this has taken me FOREVER to finish! But this will also stand alone. So read on and start HAVING HAPPY PREP TALKS that will CHANGE THE TRAJECTORY OF YOUR DAY AND CAN HELP YOU MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER 5 MIN A TIME!!!
As per the Revolution posts, we do NOT change what we don’t DO something to CHANGE. So, set yourself up for success and create a PLAN.
- DECIDE: you want to work on this and that you will put in at least SOME time and effort doing so
- If you don’t make a CHOICE to DO different it is LIKELY you will do the SAME.
- Acknowledge it will take work, but you are willing to DO that work
2. BELIEVE that you have the power to CHANGE things.
- This can be as simple as a mantra that says, “I CAN do this” “this IS in my control”
- Even better use this mantra: What I think, feel, do and SAY to myself prior to any First Five, will DEEPLY and significantly impact how I behave during that First Five and therefore impact what happens next.
3. SET THE STAGE for SUCCESS
CREATE INCENTIVES: make a list of WHY this matters to YOU. What will the benefits be of making this change?
- I want to take more control over the trajectory of my mood and my day
- I’m sick and tired of feeling SICK and TIRED and I need to start somewhere!
- I am motivated to create positive changes in my life and I can see how this can work!
- People have told me I’m “negative” or a downer, or I find myself thinking that about myself, and I don’t want to KEEP doing the same THING over and over and expecting a different result. SO I’m going to: TRY DIFFERENT!!!
PICK ONE: we tend to want to change ALL things ALL at the same time! Then are overwhelmed and GIVE UP, or assume it just “doesn’t work” SO be WISE and use the following criteria:
- Pick ONE that matters (so you can build incentives)
- Is NOT huge
- Happens regularly
- YOU have a great deal of control over.
- Be specific here know EXACTLY what you mean
CREATE AN ACTION:
- Be concrete and specific
- Ie: I’m going to set a reminder on my phone for RIGHT after my alarm goes off that says: “First Five Focus: don’t get up until you do a HAPPY PREP TALK
4. CREATE YOUR HAPPY PREP TALK:
Pick your ONE “FIVE” and crate a happy prep talk.
- Make sure your talk is:
- Positive, and realistic without being perfectionistic
- Focused on happy thoughts, without being Pollyanna
- Positive, but with an eye toward what is possible
- An accurate view, from which you can PLAN
- NOT riddled with hidden crappy thoughts (See Part 4)
- Doesn’t make things WORSE than they are aka: crap colored lens but also don’t make things look BETTER than they are aka: Rose colored lens (see post part 5.1)
MANTRA: this is a statement you can take with you from First Five to First Five. Think of it as your personal proclamation about YOU in THIS moment.
Write down the Prep Talk and the Mantra.
- I know, nobody likes this. BUT it does make a difference in how it works. It’s like our brain takes it more seriously, or there are different parts of the brain that are engaged when we write something down.
- PLUS we are just more likely to DO something if we write it down
Have an accountability partner? Someone who will touch base to see if you did it? Even BETTER!! This really helps!
5. TRACK:
Another thing folks HATE. BUT if we want to change and we want that change to STICK this is how to do it! SO, jot down:
- When you DO prep talk
- How it went
- What happened NEXT
- How it FELT
- What difference it made
- How HARD/EASY was it
- What worked and what didn’t
6. REPEAT
- I know this isn’t popular either. But when we do something over and over and then OVER again, we are more likely to KEEP DOING IT.
- There is much written about creating a “habit” but do you know what the hardest part is? BREAKING the habit you are trying to replace!
- So, give yourself time and compassion as you BREAK the habit of CRAPPY prep talks, or even NO prep talks and replace them with HAPPY Prep Talks!
7. REVIEW
Yeah, this is going to be a work in progress. It likely won’t be ONE and DONE and TADA. It will require review and rewriting until it feels like it’s RIGHT for you.
- Use your tracking info to review:
- Any successes?
- Any differences in what came next?
- Were benefits of the change seen by YOU?
- Do you need to adjust the incentives?
- Make any changes?
7. REWARD!!!!!
Pay ATTENTION
- Reward ANY progress toward your goals.
- Only SLIGHTLY more positive? GO YOU!
- Did it once this week, when you did it NONE last week? GO YOU!!!
- Finding yourself a bit overwhelmed but stuck with it? GO YOU!!!
SUPER reward change!
- Notice a difference in what came next? Yes? YAY revel in that success!
- Notice YOU felt better? YAY shows you DO have some control over how you feel!
- Notice other folks are behaving differently around you? YAY! Proves how WE approach someone can and does change the way they ARE around us!
Lets PRACTICE:
Ok let’s do one!
DECIDE: I am going to create some positive change in my life. I know it won’t be easy or fast, but I want and need to do this, and this is me saying I WILL.
BELIEVE I truly believe I CAN do this, that creating Happy Prep talks is possible AND that it will make a positive difference in my life is I stick to it!
SET THE STAGE for SUCCESS:
INCENTIVES:
- I want to take more control over my day
- I’m sick and tired of feeling BAD and not liking my life, and want to take control BACK
- I have at times in my past, had a more positive outlook and it did make a difference.
- I am SICK of doing the same THING over and over and expecting a different result. SO I’m going to: TRY DIFFERENT!!!
PICK ONE:
- Wake UP First five: what I will say to myself BEFORE I even get out of bed. (not HUGE, happens regularly, is ALL mine and is specific)
CREATE AN ACTION:
I’m going to set a reminder on my phone for RIGHT after my alarm goes off that says: “First Five Focus: get up only AFTER you do a HAPPY PREP TALK
CREATE YOUR HAPPY PREP TALK:
This morning is going to be a good one. Life is ok, good even and if there are some things that are NOT great that is ok too, that is just part of life. I can CHOOSE how I SEE the day. I am grateful for: my dog, my heater, a hot shower, that first sip of hot coffee, that I got gas in my car yesterday……. I am READY to take on the day!
MANTRA: I can take ON the day, direct how I SEE, THINK and FEEL and make MORE LIKELY to be a good day.
Accountability partner: I will talk to my friend Joan and see if she’ll touch base with me after lunch to see if I’ve stayed on track.
TRACK:
Ok.. I’m up and in the shower, so GO ME I did the prep talk! It was pretty easy, even if I felt the negative challenge of qualifiers, I held against it. I already feel better!!! I even gave my honey a kiss good morning! I feel good about how it went
REPEAT
I will make sure I do this again tomorrow, by keeping the reminder set!
REVIEW
- I know this is a work in progress and don’t expect it to be perfect.
- I might want to be even more specific and add MORE things I’m grateful for tomorrow.
- I did FEEL better and my honey even noticed and commented! That felt great!
- I felt LIGHTER, like I wasn’t carrying so much weight around with me.
REWARD!!!!!
- I feel GOOD, so maybe I’ll go out for a healthy lunch!
- I will pat myself on the back, reflect on how good it felt
- I will SHARE my success with a friend
- The morning being BETTER is ALSO its own reward!
I know, that is a LOT! But the more you DO IT the better you get at it! Often my Morning first five is as quick as: Another day another Dollar doing what I love to do! Or another Day in Paradise, I really do live in a gorgeous area! So, you can shorthand it, and eventually on these regular daily First Fives maybe narrow it down to a mantra and call it good!
Once you are used to the format and get fairly good at it, you can do it for more specific and even challenging events. For example, a meeting you do NOT want to attend, in laws coming over, a new skill you need to learn, folks staying at your house, kids being off school…YOU NAME IT and it can benefit from a First Five Happy Prep Talk!
So, once again I’ll say:
YOU GOT THIS!!
Work on your First Five Happy Prep Talks, and soon you’ll be saying:
I GOT THIS!!!!
805 Therapy 