I am the QUEEN of returns! At Ross they know me, and are surprised when I DO NOT have a return. I shop a lot, it’s my DE-stressor my pocket of joy…but I take things home and THEN I decide what I want to keep…and I am NOT afraid of returning 🙂 In fact, I LIKE IT…it’s getting to shop TWICE with the same money! I know, this makes NO sense to some, but I accept this is me 🙂
BUT…when it comes to gifts it’s a bit tougher. There must be a protocol right? Can we just return and not tell folks? Or do we not return certain gifts? Or do we only return if they say it’s ok? Or do we just NOT return gifts AT ALL? And what about RE-gifting? I’m really not sure…Dear Abby I’m not.
In my family, we give gift receipts 🙂 Mostly because we accept that not EVERY gift will have BIG wow value and we’d RATHER they return things and get the RIGHT thing than have what I bought them rot in a drawer. I personally have NO problem with returns of the gifts I GIVE. Don’t get me wrong, I WANT to NAIL it, I’m just saying if I DON’T I’d rather they return it 🙂
I know though…that some folks have a REAL problem with this!
I get it…they TRIED HARD to get the RIGHT thing, thought about US….who we ARE what we LIKE….and they THINK they NAILED IT. Right? Isn’t that how you feel when you buy a gift? Maybe that is the first thing we can do…change that thought process to… “I HOPE I nailed it…but if I didn’t they can go back and NAIL it with the return” 🙂 Better right? Not getting the right size or color is NOT a FAILURE, it’s just a miss. That is IT, it’s not about how much you LOVE that person, it’s not a statement it’s just a MISS.
I was re-watching a fav Sci Fi show, StarGate the original series. It’s MacGyver in space, well, not really but same actor and it’s a good show. One guy is moving on to the next plain of existence and he’s not sure he is worthy. He says, “I tried to make a difference, but the results stunk. For each bad guy I got rid of two more took his place and I wasn’t able to save the women I loved” all true. The other worldly being says, “We can’t measure our worthiness that way…by the success of our efforts…only by the efforts themselves. And in the end, we can only really control one thing, if we are good or evil”H
I know, heavy for a blog on gift giving. BUST the point is a good one, there are TOO MANY FACTORS in the “success” of a plan that we do not control. So. we can only measure ourselves by our efforts: did we TRY hard? Did we TRY to do the “right” (aka good) thing? Or were we EVIL?? Somehow I’d think in gift giving (unless we are REALLY passive aggressive) we are being good, after all, unless we put COAL in their stocking we probably at least TRIED to get them something they’d like!!
And, folks look at the gift giver the same way. Do you really think they got you the wrong color ON PURPOSE? That they didn’t TRY AT ALL? Probably not. Maybe they don’t KNOW you, and maybe you both need to look at why that is or maybe they are just not a great gift giver! Either way don’t ASSUME there is negative intent behind a gift that doesn’t hit the mark truthfully it’s MORE likely it’s JUST a MISS, not EVIL (negative) INTENT.
Sorry…back to returning. I would guess the protocol is don’t return something from a person you know would get BENT over it and ask yourself: would they get bent? I remember on Gilmore Girls, the main gal would run around and put out all the gifts her mom gave her over the years when she knew her mom was coming over and her mom would say, “where is the…..” it would be the ONE thing she couldn’t find! Is it worth all that work? Some folks you NEVER please no matte what you DO.
Maybe have a talk with your gift exchange people, make some agreements.
Think of it this way, is it MORE immportant that they KEEP the gift, or that they LOVE the gift? MOST give gives WANT to get the person WHAT THEY WANT. So if it takes returining what YOU got for them to GET wha they want, what is the harm?
Again, I will admit this can be hard for me, especially when it comes to my kids. Because I LIKE to NAIL IT, to get the WOW value gift! I LOVE MEGA WOW VALUE, I love when I nail it!!! I got my son a Lizard, he must have been 10. Not something he asked for but he did this HUGE happy dance jumped up and down, it was AMAZING!!! I got my Granddaughter a dfical camera and she LOVED it, said,
HOW DID YOU KNOW I’d like that, it was on my list” and I said it was a good guess! I do not, however, get BENT if I don’t get that response. AND I don’t get bent if they return it and take the cash and get something else that does NAIL IT. I TRY to define success as: they got something they LOVE period.
So, for all those folks that I see out there in the return lines. Or for those that know their gift has been returned remember we are STILL getting them a gift, they are just picking out JUST what they want! PLUS they gt to shop!!! WIN WIN! How is THAT for a re-frame! 🙂
Now I’m looking forward to the 13th day of Christmas!!!
I hope you all have a Happy Holiday whatever you celebrate and whoever you celebrate it with. The family you were born in to, the one you created and chose. Friends, your pet. Whatever your Holiday Looks like, whatever you are doing. I hope you are doing so with all your heart.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL and to all a good night!!!!!!
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